Q: How do I decide what my favorite color is?
Ah, the old ‘favorite color’ dilemma, an easy problem to solve.
Now, one of the things that makes this an easy problem is that certain classes of people are virtually required to have a certain favorite color. For instance, if you are a girl with a bubbly personality between the ages of eleven and fifteen, your favorite color is pink. If you are what is generally termed a ‘Goth’ your favorite color is black.
Now, if you don’t fit into a category with an assigned favorite color there are some steps you can take to narrow your choices. The first, and most obvious, step is to discover if there are any colors you dislike. The easiest way to do this is to think of all the things that disgust and offend you, look for prominent colors, and remove all of those colors from your list of possible favorites.
At this point you should look over your list of possible favorite colors, and if one color stands out above the rest, or your list has been whittled down to one color, you now have a favorite color.
If, for some reason, you have a few colors on your list that you cannot decide between there is one more test that we can apply. Now, this test will only work if you have five or fewer colors remaining on your list. First you must obtain a hammer, or other heavy, blunt object. Then, assign a color to each finger. Once you have completed this preparation you may begin the test. Think of one of the colors, then hit the finger assigned to that color with the hammer. Remember exactly how much it hurts. Repeat the for all colors. The finger/color combination that hurt the most is your favorite.
And there you have it, Archibald’s guaranteed color-choosing method.
(Shout out to Kimberly who suggested this question. If you have any burning question or need of advice, leave a comment and Archibald will answer!)