So just in case you didn’t know, I’m a little bit crazy. One reason being, I have many personalities and people in my head that I talk to and change between. Unless that’s normal? Do people do that? I don’t know. But being called crazy sounds more interesting, even if I sometimes get funny looks when I say I talk to my imaginary friends. Although, there is more to it than that.
But I’ll get back to that later, first I have a question. Do you talk to yourself?
I think most people talk to themselves in one way or another. We talk to ourselves when we’re trying to remember things…
Mary closes the fridge door and walks over the to the counter. “Right, I need eggs, potatoes, cheese,” she starts scribbling notes as she walks towards the front door. “Can’t forget the hot dogs, need more milk… there was something, what was it?” Mary asks herself as she stops to slip on her coat. She taps her forehead with the end of her pencil in a moment of concentration, “Oh… and I lost it. Maybe it will come back to me. Uh, car keys… purse… Okay I’m ready.” Mary walks out into the street and locks her apartment door behind her.
A lot of us also talk to animals, which in a way is talking to ourselves. And don’t you try to deny it and tell me you haven’t baby-talked to a puppy at lest once in your life! Animals are also good listener, and sometimes we need someone to listen. So Kitty is the perfect candidate, unless you need advise, then… not so much. Well, unless they’re just drawling the advise out of you, Like Mary here…
“Nobody understands, Kitty.” Mary lay on the couch, one arm thrown across her forehead as she talked to the curled-up cat on the back of the couch. “I want chocolate soooo bad, but they all say seven candy bars a day is too much,” she told the cat. “What do you think I should do?”
Kitty opened one sleepy eye to look at Mary, uninterested. “I mean…” Mary continued, “I could, if I wanted to, cut back some. I do love it, but I don’t feel as strong as I used to and my middle is a little, well…” She reached a hand up to scratch the cat, “Hey, what if every time I’m craving a chocolate bar, I go for a run or drink water instead. And every week I’ll try and eat one less candy bar a day.” She smiled at the cat, “What to you think?” Kitty purred under Mary’s hand happily. “Okay, I’ll do for you!”
And have you ever gotten a way of speaking stuck in your head? Like when you’re listening to something, an auto book perhaps, and you get the reader’s voice stuck in your head. Or if you’re reading a book, especially an old one, and your thinking voice starting talking in the way it’s written. This happened to me when I listened to an auto book of the Prince and the Pauper. I went around with Old English running through my head for some time after that, and even tried a few failed attempts at speaking it. And again after reading Pride and Prejudice, my brain kept trying to come up with more witty come backs than usual.
I’ve heard people say when they’re alone they have conversations with no one but themselves, just to have someone to talk to. I do this too. But when I do it I’m talking to a specific make-up person in my head, or I am that person talking to another made-up character. And then if no one’s around, I’ll act it out a bit. So if you happen upon me intensely glaring at myself in the mirror, or pretending to punch people, I’m not actually mad. I’m just practicing my best Clover ‘Death-By-Glare’ face and beating up bad guys, so don’t worry…. or, well, maybe you should.
Even when I’m not talking to myself, I still think I’m crazy. I like to talk… A LOT. Especially when I first meet someone, because I have so much to tell my new friends. Because everyone is my friend! I don’t think I’ve ever met a stranger… or at least not one stranger than me.
I admit it, I’m a talkaholic a lot of the time. I can’t help it. My brain disappears and my mouth takes over. The poor people are just sitting there nodding polity and praying, “My ears! Pretty please, make it stop!” Well, I don’t know if they really think that. But they could, especially with the amount of talking I do. Some days I can control it, but other day… I’m just out the window.
The worst part, (especially on days when my mind decides, “Today is a perfect day to go to the beach!” and leaves) is when I’m talking and something small, like another conversation or a song on the radio, distracts me. I completely forget about what I was saying! Then a long silence follows, while I stare blankly at nothing, utterly lost. The other person waits, until they finally have to remind me where I was, and I jump back into it. Half the time I don’t even get to say all the things I wanted to, it’s all just a spiraling rant.
The point being, I’m just crazy. And if it weren’t for my imaginary friends, I would probably be crazier. But that’s the life of a writer! Although, I don’t know if there are very many sane authors out there. You have to have a certain amount of madness in you to do what we do: dream the unbelievable, create the unimaginable, draw you into worlds of wonder, and inspire awe with simple words on a page. To show you the triumph of victory, the despair of defeat, the pain of heartache, and the joy of finding something lost. We wrap you up so tight you can’t sleep, and help you escape or simply enjoy the adventure. And if you’re not careful, show you the beauty of life!