When The Satire Site Can’t Recognize Satire

It’s happened! The day has come when my work was insulted and myself called a bad person because of my views! You can imagine my joy upon waking to discover this news among messages of congratulations by my fellows who also know what it’s like to be spit on by the left. It’s kinda strange how getting hate for expressing your views has turned into something like a rite of passing. But it is what it is, and we roll with it.

Why am I hated you ask? Well, if you head over to cracked.com, S Peter Davis will tell you that our anthology Forbidden Thoughts is not simply a science fiction anthology that pokes fun at message fiction and a lot of the ideas from the left. Oh no, it’s actually 5 Ridiculously Implausible Things The Alt-Right Is Afraid Of.  Apparently. Because we’re all alt-right now, and afraid for some reason.

In the article I am told that I’m in a hate group, that I’m alt-right, and that I’m a terrible person. He mocks, but there is no humor in it. He takes our stories completely literally and serious, and it just makes him look angry and sad.

There’s only two reaction to this…

  1. Get mad
  2. Laugh

The left hates it when we laugh, because they have no sense of humor. And so I laugh, because if the satire site can’t recognize satire, they are in a far worse place than I am.

Allow me to offer just a bit of commentary on what Mr. Davis said about my story. His words will be in italic, mine will be in bold.

The key to being a terrible person is to always assume everyone else is much, much worse. The problem is that if you’re part of what polite society considers a hate group, then it takes some serious mental leaps to get there.

Well I don’t think it’s very polite to assume I’m in a hate group. And you must be in gymnastics for all the mental leaps you had to do to get to that conclusion.

So let’s kick off by looking at the story “At The Edge Of Detachment” by A.M. Freeman, a cautionary tale about a 12-year-old boy who tragically breaks his arm after falling out of a tree. Luckily for his mother, the legal age for aborting a fetus in the United States has been extended to, uh, 13 years after birth. You know, that thing that liberals are always saying they want?

You want abortion right? And you sometimes want it after birth right? Morally it doesn’t matter if the child is inside the mother, or outside of her for any length of time. Murder is still murder. Also, why do you assume it’s in the US? My story could actually be set on Mars with trees for all you know.

Anyway, his mother decides that it is cheaper and easier to simply have her son killed than treat him for a minor ailment

That’s the point. “Him existing would be an inconvenience to me.” Same reason a majority of abortions happens.

so she applies to the government to obtain an extremely late-term abortion. The story consists of the child protagonist’s inner monologue on his very short life before he is dragged away by government agents while screaming that he’s a living person.

Technically, he was killed in the house, and then carried out to the organ donation van. But carry on.

If there’s one thing that the folks on the extreme right know, it’s that liberals LOVE dead kids. In 2015, right-wing blogs started stirring up a panic storm about the imminent abortionpocalypse when they discovered an article published way back in 2012 for the Journal Of Medical Ethics titled “After-Birth Abortion: Why Should the Baby Live?”

So…. do you guys actually want dead kids? Cause you’re not denying it. And mocking us when we get upset about babies being killed at birth isn’t really helping.

Holy shit, right? The article dared to present the question: if it’s generally acceptable to terminate a pregnancy upon learning that the fetus has some kind of severe genetic defect, then why is it not acceptable to terminate a baby for the same reason? The right went apeshit about this being the smoking gun that proves this is what liberals actually want!

Again, do you not want it? Cause you aren’t giving me much here, and you haven’t actually said you don’t want dead kids.

According to Mike Adams, the supplement-hucking pundit behind Natural News, this reveals what he knew all along: “But killing babies just before they’re born isn’t quite enough for these Satan worshippers.” Alex Jones colleague Paul Joseph Watson states that after-birth abortion is “the logical conclusion” to the pro-choice position.

An author who goes by “Vox Day” (which is literally botched Latin for “The Voice of God”) went further down the rabbit hole and suggests this article is just the first step toward all murder being legal, like the Purge 365 days a year. (“These people are a death cult. They worship death.”)

Oop! And there’s the name drop! I’m mentioned along side such vile people as Vox Day and Alex Jones, so now you KNOW I gotta be evil! 

I won’t go into the rest, because it just gets worse from there, especially with the other stories. Now just a moment while I shake the salt from my fingers.

Ahem, anyway, but you see what I mean? He read a story illustrating that morally  there’s no difference between aborting a child that is 12 weeks, and one that is 12 years… and he thinks I’m afraid people are about to start taking out their pre-teen children? “The imagination lacks much in this one.” – A legit quote from my man Yoda about Mr. Davis.

So, after all that, I just want to say… thank you. Thank you all for your well wishes at my passing from a mild conservative author to Officially Evil. It may only be a slight incident, with my story being at the top of the list of many others, but it still means a lot to me. I’m told my Evil League of Evil badge is in the mail, so I will be joining you all soon.

Even over a year later, the Forbidden Thoughts anthology is receiving hate from people who totally missed the point. It’s great, I love it. If you want a wild variety of pointed stories that range from tongue-in-cheek, to more thought out or subtle, this is a great read. Or if you’d like to hear the story that this man apparently says no one should read, even ironically, take a gander at one of my fans doing an excellent reading of it here.

Cheers! I’m going to go enjoy my promised cookies now.


7 thoughts on “When The Satire Site Can’t Recognize Satire

  1. Yay! You’re evil! Also, great mini-fisking. The ILOH would be proud. (Oh, and thank you for the nod, as well! I shall accept some of that sweet, sweet second-hand hate!)

  2. When everyone is Alt-Right, no one is. Do they even have a concept of what it is they are calling us? Because it looks like they throw that term out to anyone and everyone they have a mild disagreement with.

    One of my friends (in real life) once asked if I was a “Prepper” and said she imagined me standing at my window with my rifle because I believe in being prepared for things that could reasonably be imagined to take place.

    Bravo to you for having an imagination

  3. Now I’m tempted to write a blog post called, “5 Ridiculously Implausible Things The Progressive Left Is Afraid Of.” I think I’ll start out with content from Margaret Atwood’s, “The Handmaid’s Tale.”

  4. Pingback: Five Ridiculously Implausible Things The Progressive Left is Afraid Of | Powered by Robots

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